9/8 Kicked in the Legs

This was one of my only bad workouts all summer.

Most often when I run, it's my time- I run through whatever turmoil or joys are happening in my life and let them slowly transform from mind consuming emotions into the salt on my forehead. All my thoughts meld together sometimes into solutions and sometimes into nothing. Whatever results the run yields, I always find relief.

Today I couldn't run away. My life consumed my run and destroyed it. I walked/jogged, (yes with a soft 'j') the last two miles, which was especially disheartening because though they are the hardest they have been the fastest and somehow easier for me the last few weeks because I know there are just a few more... In my recent long runs I have been shattering my final mile times, finishing my run feeling a little tattered and achy but overall strong, confident, proud and excited for race day. Today I was in tears.

I was so upset when I started I shot my wad early. I left the start gates hungry for release and payed the price in the last quarter of my run. I was breaking 7 minute miles in the first half and exponentially suffered the extra minutes I should have saved for later. My calves screamed in mile 1, my camelbak felt like it weighed 15 pounds, and I hated everything on body. It was awful. I was so disheartened. This was the last long workout before my race and I desperately wanted to nail it. I started at 8 and woke up methodically. My running was dominated by hunger to let go of everything and do just one thing for a few hours - run. I got so carried away by anticipation that a crucial workout disintegrated because I couldn't harness mind and keep my feelings at bay.

I also forgot my lunch and made the really well thought out (imagine my most sarcastic tone) decision to stay at the river for just 1 hour in the sun, then repleantish- BAD decision. Though the sun was wonderful and actually healed quite a few things, I spent 2 days recovering extra sore muscles.

However bad that day was, I know I am not alone. I read an article at the river that day in October's issue of Runner's World which was titled something like Tips from Elites and one of the elites said "don't beat yourself up because of one bad workout, move on and make the next one better." This was of monumental help for me to see.

20 miles Average time- not willing to disclose. total time 3 hours 37 min.
In retrospect, it could have been worse. I traveled the entire distance even though it was ugly. I put my big girl pants on and sprinted half the damn, as I always do, and my times were not as horrifying as I thought they would be.